It Isn't the End of the World!

I am having such a bad day. I woke up late this morning and decided to skip my first class AGAIN! This is the second time I missed a class since school started. I did not know what to do though because I slept so late last night. I couldn't just sleep for 4 hours and drive for 1 hour to school and stay there for another 14 hours then drive for another 1 hour back home. I cannot drive on the highway if I don't have enough good night sleep.

I feel like I have so much pressures going on in my life. The pressure to please God, to please my parents, to please my brothers, to please my friends, to please myself, to get scholarships, and the list goes on. I am just a person and there is no way for me to please everyone including myself.

My parents expect so much from me that sometimes I feel like they don't care about how much work I have, how tired I am and even worse, how I feel. It seems like they want me to do everything. To do good in school, take care of everything at church, do all chores at home. I cannot do all those things. I wish I had more than 24 hours in a day so I can please everyone, but it will just not happen that way.

I know that sometimes they see me slack around the house. But I also need a break. I can't just drone on doing work work and work all day long. Sometimes I feel like I needed to hide from them to take a break so that I will not upset them for seeing me not doing anything. On the other hand, I also feel guilty because I do not want to see them upset. I want to keep them happy all the time. But how can I do that with such limited time I have in my life right now.

Anyway, when I woke up this morning, the first thing that came up to my mind was that I have to cancel my road-test appointment because I am just not ready. Then, I was hit by the red bolded words that said, "Effective Monday, September 26, 2005, road test appointments must be cancelled at least 48 hours before the scheduled date and time of test; otherwise you will be charged a late cancellation fee of $25.00. " I had the longest sigh after that because it used to be 24 hours in advanced! Now what am I going to do? I am not ready for the test, I have two quizzes this week, two assignments also due this week, another two quizzes next week, one assignment and a midterm! I am going crazy!!!

I'm having such a bad day. I spend double the time that I used to spend to study now because half of the time my mind travels somewhere else. But it's okay, because I have decided that my life goes on with or without him! :'( I have a major goal that I've set for myself for this year and I am letting that slide. It's a tough choice, but with me life is never fair! Maybe we will get to meet again in the future, perhaps when we are both out of school, and when God finally opens the way for us. :'( Yes, please do not mind if you see me cry a river!

It's okay, I will be okay in a couple of days. I hope things will go back to normal for me. When bad things happen in your life, and when you feel really upset, remember that it isn't the end of the world.